


Even As A Dream

by girlgoneblack



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Feels, M/M, One Shot, Orpheus and Eurydice Myth, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Canon, orpheus and eurydice au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:42:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlgoneblack/pseuds/girlgoneblack
Summary: Thor sets on a journey to Helheim to find his brother and bring him back to the world of the living.





	Even As A Dream

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been meaning to write this fic for quite some time now (ever since I went to see the opera _Orfeo ed Euridice_ by Gluck a couple weeks ago), but I didn't really have the time or motivation - until I was asked by the lovely [lokiiiiiiiiiiiiied](https://lokiiiiiiiiiiiiied.tumblr.com/) to write something on the prompt: "Do you really think I'll let you die?". I thought that my idea actually fit the prompt, so... There you go. I wrote it.
> 
> English is not my first language, and this work is not beta-ed nor has been re-read due to extreme laziness, so if you spot any huge mistake, let me know!
> 
> Cheers!

> Come back! Even as a shadow,  
>  even as a dream.  
> 
> 
> _Herakles_ (Euripides)

 

   They say that time heals all wounds. Thor believed it with all his heart for the greater part of his life – that is, until he lost his brother.

   As an Asgardian, he had grown accustomed to the fleetingness of the things of this world. He had seen ages go by, civilizations fall, planets made just to be destroyed, lives created just to turn into dust. He lived through the times, almost unchanging, knowing only in the back of his mind that there would come an end for him too – one day. He was never afraid; he had his father and his mother by his side, and most importantly, he had Loki. He wasn’t alone in his lengthy existence.

   The loss of his mother had made him experience it for the first time – the pain that came along with loss and death. He hadn’t had time to really grieve, but when all was over, he had made his peace and had whispered promises of a reunion in Valhalla. His father’s time had come soon after. His sorrow had been dulled and clouded by the rage and the imminent danger of his sister rising.

   Then his brother died. It was different. It was real ache.

   It happened so suddenly, so swiftly, so fast. He had seen his brother die two times in the past already – and each time had been more painful. He had wept for weeks, he had hoped for Loki’s return. And his prayers had been answered, because every time Loki had come back. And Thor had been mad at his brother because of what he had made him go through, but so thankful to the gods that they had allowed him to see his brother again.

   And then, there was the third time. Thor hadn’t seen it coming. It had been a blissful time – Loki had chosen to be at his side, had _chosen_ him of his own volition, even though he had had the choice to flee and never come back. He had abandoned his ambitions to be with Thor, to accompany him wherever he would decide to go. They had spent a few weeks in perfect bliss, planning together a new Asgard where they would rule side by side, one equal to the other. Sharing secrets and forgiving each other for their mistakes of the past years. Sailing through the stars. In love.

   It happened in the midst of this happiness – it came unexpected, quiet like a burglar in the night. The minutes that had preceded it had been tumultuous, and Thor had almost believed that his brother had betrayed him once again, that he had played him and used him. And then, Loki saved him. Sacrificed himself, _stupidly_ , for Thor’s sake. _Desperately_. And his neck snapped with a sickening crunch, and Thor didn’t believe it for a few seconds. Because it _couldn’t_ be happening for a third time. Not now.

   _Not ever._

   He eventually killed Thanos – after long, long years of war. It was the only thing he could do – the only thing his thirst for revenge urged him to do. He fought, never forgetting about Loki, and always hoping that he would return this time too.

   Except, he didn’t.

   Thor spent a few more years helping rebuilding the world. And when he was no more needed, he set for Helheim to find the one person that held his whole happiness in their hand.

   He found the entrance to the land of the dead on a clearing, in the middle of a mountain wood of northern Norway. He waited for the dusk and entered the cave that lead down below, Stormbreaker in hand.  

   Thor walked for nine nights through caverns so deep and dark that he saw nothing, guided only by the deafening silence of his surroundings and by his beating heart, until he arrived at the river Gjöll. There was one and only bridge that crossed the river – in which were drowning lost and unworthy souls, screaming for help and trying to grip and drag down wretched people who came too close to the edge. Thor sat there for three more nights to see if Loki wasn’t amongst them, but he didn’t find him. So he set across the bridge.

   At the other end, Modgud, the guardian of the land beyond, stopped him.

   “What business do you have here, Asgardian?” she asked.

   “I came for my brother, Loki of Jotunheim” replied Thor, the name tasting sour on his tongue. “You may have seen him cross by.”

   Modgud eyed him with her bloody irises.

   “Every dead passes by me, and I forget no one. He came through here, some years from now already. And he is lost to the world of the living” she added, as if reading his intentions.

   “I will be the judge of that.”

   Her cold laugh echoed in the silence surrounding them.

   “You have no business here. Turn around and forget about him, because you will not be seeing him again.”

   “Just let me pass” pleaded Thor. “I ask for nothing more.”

   Modgud looked at him, her eyes turning almost translucid, as if she was reading inside his soul.

   “Well, do you have something to offer me?”

   Thor tightened his fingers around Stormbreaker’s handle for a short second, then threw it to Modgud’s feet.

   “It’s my only possession.”

   Modgud picked it up, then it slowly vanished into the darkness.

   “You won’t have anything to defend yourself from now, for your journey forward” she stated, disappearing herself.

   Thor continued on the road lying ahead, stripped of any weapon, sparks flying from his fingers from time to time. He didn’t sleep nor eat, walking ahead, until he arrived to the Gates of Hel. It was guarded by a hoard of disgraced warriors, and Thor spent two days fighting through their ranks until he reached the Gates and climbed over it, jumping quickly so he wouldn’t be caught, landing in the land of the dead.

   It was quiet – frighteningly so. A thin mist was rising from the ground, plunging Thor’s surroundings in an oneiric atmosphere.

   Thor set to the Main Hall, where Hel ruled over the land that bore his name. When he arrived in front of his throne, he was trembling. The cold and the sorrow of the land had soaked his being, filling his mind with mournful thoughts.

   Hel looked down at him, his all-seeing, dark eyes scanning over his small form.

   “Asgardian” he rasped, his voice echoing in the dusk.

   “Hel” called out Thor.

   “You have traveled far from the light” continued Hel. “Disturbing peace in my land on your way, from what I’ve heard.”

   “I did not mean to” quickly replied Thor. “I came for my brother.”

   Hel paused for a few beats.

   “You do know he is dead, I reckon. And that he escaped Death’s grasp twice, now. The third time was the right one.”

   Thor licked his dry lips.

   “There’s nothing I can do for you, Asgardian” finished Hel.

   “Please!” almost shouted Thor. “Please” he added with a steadier voice. “I’ll just take my brother, and we will be gone.”

   Hel’s expression remained unchanged.

   “You cannot cheat death” he said.

   “I do know that” answered Thor. “But he is my brother, and he is of Asgard. He does not belong here.”

   “He belongs at your side, you mean.”

   Thor remained unfazed.

   “The living’s matters are not my business” said Hel.

   “Will you let my brother leave with me? You won’t be involved with any more of our problems, ever again, I swear that to you” promised Thor.

   Hel looked old and tired, and he coughed a few times, a hoarse sound echoing in the dark.

   “You proved yourself to be brave, Asgardian. And I know what your brother did before dying” added Hel. “I will allow you to take him back.”

   Thor barely refrained himself from a cry of joy, hope rising like a warm wave within him.

   “Nevertheless, I have a condition” continued Hel. “You will go get your brother now, free him from his eternal chains. But you cannot tell him of anything that happened or that is going to unfold from now. You cannot reveal to him that you are leading him to the light. You have to travel in silence, him following you, and you absolutely cannot turn around to look at him while journeying through my land. You can only set eyes on him once you get out of the Underworlds.”

   Thor listened, remembering every word.

   “If you do not abide by these conditions, you will lose your brother forever and there will be nothing I will be able to do for you anymore, son of Odin” concluded Hel.

   “I will remember this, Hel” vowed Thor. “And I thank you for your generosity.”

   Thor passed Hel’s throne, venturing into the lands beyond. There were dark, humid planes, covered in fog and despair. Thor looked everywhere for Loki, pushed by a newfound hopefulness, almost trembling in anticipation. He found his brother after hours of searching, on his knees, curled on himself, chained down to the ground like all the souls in the land of the dead. He ran the last feet to him, kneeling besides Loki.

   “Brother” he whispered, his hand immediately cupping his neck.

   His fingers brushed lightly against the cold skin, and only then did Thor notice the dark bruises that adorned the soft flesh there.

   He immediately retrieved his hand, as if burnt.

   “Thor?” rasped Loki in a frail voice. “ _Thor?_ ”

   “Yes, brother, it’s me” weakly smiled Thor.

   Loki looked up at him, and Thor’s heart squeezed in pain. His brother’s face looked hollow, gray, his usually sparkling eyes… _Dead_.

   “No, no, _no_ ” gasped Loki, his frantic stare searching Thor’s gaze. “You cannot be here” he whispered. “You don’t belong here.”

   “Oh, _Loki_ ” whimpered Thor. “Neither do you. Did you really think I would let you die? Come with me, my love” he murmured.

   He leaned down, grazing his mouth against Loki’s ever soft lips in a soft, longing kiss.

   “Thor…” croaked Loki.

   Thor took the heavy chains that bound his brother in his hands and pulled on them, breaking them one after another with great effort. He then grasped Loki by the arm and stood up, dragging his brother up to his feet.

   Loki wobbled a bit but stood upright.

   “Come on, Loki” whispered Thor. “You must follow me.”

   “Follow you? But where?” asked Loki.

   “You’ll see, brother. Just trust me” pleaded Thor. “Stay right behind me. Do you promise me you’ll stay right behind me?”

   Loki nodded weakly.

   “Say it, brother” pushed Thor. “Promise.”

   “I swear” rasped Loki.

   Thor could do nothing more.

   He turned around and set in the direction of the light. He could hear Loki’s faint, padding steps behind him, and it eased his apprehension a bit.

   They spend days traveling. They passed Hel’s throne, the Gates of Hel, where Thor battled once again through the ranks of dead soldiers, only hoping that Loki was right behind him. A constant itch urged him to turn around, but he resisted it – with great difficulty, but he did it in hope of a future with his brother.

   They crossed the river Gjöll, passing next to Modgud who sent a tired stare in their direction, and through the dark caves, for days and days. In those caverns, the only thing Thor could hear was his beating heart and his heavy breaths. He wanted nothing more than to check if Loki was indeed following him; he yearned to reach behind, to touch and to soothe. But Hel’s warnings were echoing in his mind constantly; and once in a while, a hot breath ghosted over his exposed neck, and he _knew_ – knew that Loki was there, right behind him.

   They got out of the caves on the ninth day, stepping into a short corridor carved into the mountain. A thin slit ran in the stone in front of them, the golden light of a rising sun flooding the cavern. Thor’s steps echoed, the sound bouncing warmly against the walls.

   His steps _only_.

   Loki’s distinctive, light, graceful steps were nowhere to be heard.

   A sickening feeling of panic rose to his throat, numbing his whole body, a high-pitched ringing in his ears.

   “Loki” he whispered. “Loki!” he cried out, turning around on his heels, his brother’s name dying on his lips at the same time.

   _What have I done?_

   His brother looked the same as when he was alive. His skin shone silver in the morning light, his dark, raven hair strands interwinding with gold. His green eyes sparkled with mischief, as if he were planning another one of his tricks. The only element ruining the picture were the slightly visible bruises on Loki’s long, pale neck.

   Thor took a step towards him, and already he noticed small patches of his brother’s skin dulling into an ashy gray.

   “No, _Loki_ ” he whispered, reaching a hand to brush against his brother’s cheek.

   Loki’s eyes filled with understanding.

   “Oh, Thor…” he murmured.

   His colors began to fade away.

   Thor dropped to his knees before his brother, grasping Loki’s hand in his trembling palm.

   “I did it for you, Loki” he said in a frantic voice. “I did it to get you out. I swear, I didn’t mean this.”

   Loki smiled down at him, sadness still ghosting on his lips.

   “I know, brother. I know.”

   “Please, stay” whimpered Thor, tears pooling in his eyes. “I beg you, don’t go.”

   “You know I cannot” replied Loki.

   Thor looked up to him; the edges of his brother’s face were starting to blur.

   “I will love you forever, brother” sobbed Thor.

   “I know.”

   A ray of gold flew over his graying eyes.

   “I told you, brother” said Loki, “that the sun would shine on us again.”

   In the last moment, before Loki completely faded away into the darkness, Thor bowed his head a bit, pressing his lips to his brother’s knuckles, still clutching his lean hand in his own.

   When he looked up again, Loki was gone – and his hand was left empty.

**Author's Note:**

> I have actually never thought about how much does Thor and Loki's story (from a Thorki point of view) fit the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, so many thanks to that opera for setting me on the right path (even though I'm kinda sure that's not what poor Gluck intended when writing it haha).
> 
> Also, in the opera, there's a scene where Orpheus descends to hell and there are all those creepy monsters there. So in the one I went to see, the people playing the monsters had some weird, leather, super long gloves on their arms and black masks on their faces, and it looked waaay too BDSM for a family friendly representation. And that's how I knew I'm watching way too much porn and reading way too much smutty fics, oops.
> 
> Anyway, enough with my rambling. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Cheers!


End file.
